Inaugural Speeches

Guest posts, March 15 2016

Michael Whittlesey

“Ladies and Gentlemen, friends, fellow citizens. I am not here today to tell you about policy reform – you have heard politician after politician speak about “Change.”

I am NOT here today to tell you about change. I am here to talk about abolishment. We need to come together as ONE-ONE for Abolishment.

..If a finger becomes gangrenous, infected, and dead of life and purpose, all the change in the medical community will not save that finger. The only solution is to amputate – to chop it off – before infection and disease spreads to the other healthy parts of the body.

Our government can be viewed in the same aspect. Why do we have a policy that has failed or is counterproductive to the growth of our country?

My strategy will take time.

Believe it or not, the greatest costs to consumers today are the heavy and burdensome restrictions of property rights imposed by the government. Rather than leave landowners the right to build, many state municipalities severely restrict consumption. Costly land use regulation takes on many forms. Parking minimums, zoning laws, height restrictions, and governmental delays. All of these regulations artificially inflate the cost of housing.”

He advocates a shift in land-use legislation.

“For example – consumers would benefit if an coastal metropolitan area like Miami or San Francisco use laws like those of the typical non-coastal areas, such as Austin, Texas, or Dayton, Ohio, [the] rent would automatically be reduced by 10 percent or more and home prices by 20 percent or more.”

Increased freedom for developers would bring prosperity to lower-income apartment dwellers.

“…That is enough to significantly increase the standard of living for low income families in these cities and bring home ownership within the reach of millions and millions and millions of Americans – without ever distorting the housing market or the mandates imposed by the government.”

“When policy makers make it that difficult to build apartments, it is no wonder that the rent’s too damn high! Americans need to become more secure within their homes without the constant worry of paying the rent or mortgages every month due to the exuberant actions of today’s policy makers.”

Mike also takes a strong libertarian approach towards other government regulations. While acknowledging the need for occupational licenses for pilots and doctors, he feels that “in over 90 per cent of employment, the licenses make no contribution to public safety.” Here he feels that the regulatory impulses of government result in prices being passed on to consumers:

“Nurses are allowed to prescribe medications in States such as Utah and New York, but not one Southeastern State permits nurses to do so…The result is that the price of a standard medical service is three to sixteen percent high in those states, with no difference in health outcomes…

“Dental hygienists are similarly denied permission to perform simple services in most states unless they are in the service of a licensed dentist. These restrictions increase the price of the service and decrease access to dental cleanings…

“Meanwhile, over ONE million people visited the emergency room in 2014 due to the dental issues that could have been prevented with low cost dental care that dental hygienists are excellent at providing when allowed. Abolish such constrictive policies…”

While toeing the Republican line on the anti-regulation front, Whittlesey advocates “universal healthcare policies,” however.

To conclude the “abolishment” campaign, he ends with a forceful call to dismantle the federal regulatory apparatus:

“Abolishment is not easy. It is a dirty word to many people. Deep pocketed insiders will work night and day in opposition to us. Why? Because they want to keep the costly-for-consumer and profitable-for-them status quo.

“Abolishment requires all of us to understand that economic freedom is good for society, good for our own budgets, and good for America.

“I need your support. Let’s make this happen together as a nation.”

Delano “Shaka” Drummond calls his speech “From the Bottom Up.”

“I stand before this gathering of men and women today at this hour as a humbled American citizen…I stand before you all as a citizen of this great country, with a message for the American people…I stand before this country today and declare that I am a voice which has lived all of my life on the bottom social demographic of this country.

“Today I want this great country to hear my voice and to be reminded of those old spirits that have been the very foundation upon which precipitated this American society that raised from out of obscurity, and up through the darkness of the past, and to raise up from civil war and the attempts of foreign countries to subjugate us…

Drummond calls for rebirth, using the actual development of a child as an image for national reawakening.

“…To be born, a mother must suffer through the pain of labor in order to birth a new life on earth…Through pain, suffering, and bloodshed, she pushes that unknown, that unseen new life out from the darkness of the womb into a universe of light.

“This newborn is incapable of surviving on its own without being nurtured and proected from the harsh realities of existence…Therefore this “newborn” is allowed to sleep and eat until it develops muscles and cognition…”

Drummond continues the image of growth:

“As time proceeds, as this newborn has mastered its physical form, it begins to move without being carried – it can now see and hear. Now it is required to learn, to harness its consciousness as it exists within this paradox that we call life.:”

What develops is a vision of “Probable course.”

“That vision produces a desire within this new born to create that reality of its thoughts on this earth. To fulfill its desires, it envisions a future, it begins to create, to build in reality a reflection of its mind.”

This ideal, or dream guides his vision of America.

“This newborn is ‘America’, this newborn is ‘you and me’ and every other citizen who aspires to liberty, equality, and justice as a foundation – as a pinnacle to become ‘one people’ under the Heavens above and [with] the earth beneath our feet.

He acknowledges that in his model, he is starting on the ground floor.

“I speak to you today as one of many Americans who are socially from the bottom rail of this new born nation…I speak as someone who has been marginally rejected and despised by those forces in power who have lose the spirit and vision of America.

“Americans [are] a single nation, a nation of millions under god…America’s heart is “oneness” within its diversity of citizens. This is a binding force that makes us great as a nation – as individuals and as a light that shines among the darkness of eternal time and space. This reminds us that the possibility of ‘oneness’ as a people began on the earth, with the American People.

What follows is a call to essential humanity as a bond.

“Everything that I am is all I have ever been. I am more than just a composite of my mother and father. Within me is the essence of my ancestors’ journey through time and space as Deoxyribonucleic Acid, which is simply called DNA.

“It is as a human being that I speak…It is as a human being that I stand before you today to break through the obstacle of division that exists between us…It is as a human being that in this great society it is possible that we can fuse into oneness without the burden of inequality and selfish desires.”

He looks at the nation itself, the “DNA” of America as a key to its suffering and its hopes.

“As a nation, we’ve been conceived out of necessity and embraced by divine love. Our beginning as a nation was not perfect, nor was it without bloodshed…nothing that is born is born without pain and the shedding of blood – this is the law and nature of life.

“Liberty, Justice, Freedom and Equality are our birthright as we strive towards a perfect union among ourselves first, and then to those of other nations of this earth.

He concludes with a call towards unity.

“Remember that it was within the nature of that newborn to raise up against gravity to stand up – to completely balance itself, denoting that the universe itself is in the presence of a “human being,” as it envisions a heaven on earth that is devoid of division, war, and hate.

“I know that we are the same, and I hope that my words remind you of the reason we all took our first breath of life…we are all called forth from the darkness to live as one as the light from the sun bears witness to our existence. I stand with you, and I need you to stand with me as I take on the task of redeeming the American spirit, and making it a reality for all of us. Thank you and may God embrace us all.”

Sean Almond’s speech advocates a return to a sense of responsibility, a free market with an ethical base in the self.

“The issue at hand is the lack of sincerity and truth from the two party system that has destroyed our great nation, literally rotting the foundations of liberty and justice.

“We have been programmed to accept any humilitation, any degradation of our society as a whole any time any self-serving interest group raises its hand and cries out that they are oppressed.”

He decries a laziness inbred by the welfare system.

“Why should I work for minimum wage when I can sit at home, play x-box, and collect a 1,200/month check, along with free food and section 8 housing? We the real “working class” must be fools to go to work and be responsible!

“Why don’t we all refuse to work, refuse to be self-reliant, and simple suck at the teat of ‘welfare?’ I’ll tell you: because we the business execs and working people of this country are the teat, and we are being sucked dry by the government and its policies.

He advocates a national re-evaluation, and a virtual dismantling of the existing welfare system.

“No longer will we accept slackers, laziness, or downright advantage takers. Our welfare system must be reformed so that the only people who receive help are those who cannot help themselves. The ‘able bodies’ will either sink or swim, just as our forefathers did for hundreds of years.”

He advocates a redirection of government revenue from social services to education and infrastructure development.

“We cannot turn around this culture of spending, of consumerism, unless we first place responsibility for our place in this world back on the individual. We must abolish this mindset that the government is here to serve you. Only then will we as a people be truly great again.”

His speech ends with a call to Greatness, a message similar to Trump’s in ways, but with more oratorical flair.

“We can be great again, but we must put away our excuses and choose to be great, to choose to be individually great, so that as a whole, as a country, we become truly an icon of freedom and an inspiration to all.”

Shane Barrett:

“I tell you, we are in dire straits if you need me to be your president. But I will also tell you, my heart is constant and willing, and while I have no idea how to be the leader of the free world, I will do the best I can. I believe I have been through enough shit to become humble. While much of that shit has left me biased and prejudiced, I know that I can act fairly, justly, and to the benefit of all.

“Who am I to consider what it is a president should do? My life has been one mistake after another. Luckily, some of those mistakes have proven serendipitous. For the most part I am a prisoner. A felon, incapable of making my own decisions properly, much less deciding the fate of overwhelming masses. The fate of the earth itself probably is not something that should be left in the hands of a vain, impulsive, and violent person. Although I think I may have just described every politician who has ever lived. Maybe I could pull this off after all.”

Starting with that modest opening, Barnett starts to speak of the U.S. itself as an extended family. As a leader he offers loyalty and integrity.

“As fellow Americans, that makes every one of you part of my extended family. I am working for us, providing for us, hoping for us. If that’s what it comes down to, I’m not overly greedy or imperial. I only want what’s best for everyone. The salary of a president is plenty enough for me to live happily and comfortably. I am not and will never be a puppet to anyone’s agenda. Sure, I have aspirations and desires as we all do, but being a tyrannical dictator is not one of them. I want what all good people want: good food, good friends, and, finally, good weed, good liquor, posh comfort, and convenience. All of which are easily obtainable at home.”

He turns to more issues: including climate change, welfare, and the prison system. Like others, he calls for welfare reform.

“Welfare is ridiculous. No one should receive welfare for longer than a proscribed period of time. Long enough to get on your feet when you’re down and out. This nation was not built by freeloaders and we will not tolerate worthlessness. I believe that where there is a will there is a way. Everyone can find a way to be productive, and, if not, I believe we can find a way for them to be. There is always work to be done.”

He criticizes the “cash vacuum” of the prison system.

“Prison is ridiculous, to support millions of people who are not only not productive, but worse, take away from the honest and hard working. I believe in due process of the law, but I’ll tell you this, United States: you want to be rid of crime? Be rid of criminals. Criminals are not concerned with penalties, especially those whose lives are worthless to begin with. My idea is this; first, crime laws will be simplified. A crime will be defined as something that harms another. No more. No less.”

He calls for the death penalty.

“Criminals will be executed. Recidivism is solved. No more billions of state dollars waste on the scum of the earth. All that capital can be put towards education and enrichment of our good honest citizens, of whom I’m sure we have many more now that the penalty for all crime is death. I call this policy “constructive euthanasia.” The organs of negative contributors to society will become positive, life-changing donations to those who need them. Now we’re starting to solve issues, United States!

The strong law-and-order platform takes on a more socialist angle: taxing the wealthy for infrastructure development and research, education, and entertainment. He also advocates a strong military, while maintaining a low-key presence on the world stage.

“I understand that we must be ever vigilant and that the military is essential to our survival. Diplomatic policy will be to make friends, not enemies. We take nothing by force, we trade equally with the world. We are the example to enrich our world. We will not tolerate anything that harms innocent people.”

Foreign policy with be non-interventionalist.

“There is no reason for us to be in violent conflict with the rest of the world. We should all work together for the betterment of the whole. Thus we can eradicate the attitudes and mistakes that breed hatred.”


“Any region that exports terrorism or is unable to exist peacefully will be annihilated and reformed into positive productive society. If all of us on the planet can work peacefully, we will all benefit. Life should be enjoyed and savored. We should not live in fear of senseless violence and poverty.”

Barnett ends with a call to unity, conditionally determined. His immigration plan seems global in scale, but is premised on the fact that immigration itself is a symptom of inequity.

“A large problem we’re sorting out is immigration. Let’s look at it like this: we are all citizens of the earth. No place will be better than any other if we are all peaceful and productive. South American is a beautiful continent that has all of the wonder of North America. There is no reason why people should feel compelled to abandon their homes in search of a better existence when the opportunity to thrive is available to all. When greed is eliminated on earth and we are all living together in harmony, each contributing our best to society, and in turn each enjoing the fruits of our world. It’s simple: harm equals death. A world wide policy that will allow the human race to enjoy peace and plenty. An ideal that will raise the aptitude of all. We can go as far as we can imagine. United We Stand. United We Reach. United We Succeed.”

Dennis Jennings begins with a call to greatness.

“For a long time we had to suffer at the hands of the stuffed shirts of the Republican and Democratic parties. We have sat back and watched American fall into a state of despair while “Bi-part-a-citizen: led breakdowns and stalled economic growth, silenced the call for justice and limited the next level of evolution of this once great country.

“Yes, I say, once great country. Because that’s what America used to be. A great country.”

Jennings blames, in familiar terms, the “puppets” of politics who parrot talking points without offering solutions to the problems the country faces.

“But I say screw that, it’s time to cut the strings and grab the tool box and start fixing what’s messed up in America.”

He offers a New Deal-era response to decaying infrastructure.

“My answer to homelessness is a simple one: in every major city in America will be government funded to rebuild and improve our depressed areas. It will be a two fold program. It will offer free education and job training to those in need. All those who take part in this program will help rebuild America, once city at a time.

Then he turns to education. He calls for increased government funding of schools.

    “Listen, people, I don’t like paying taxes but these are kinds of things that you/our tax dollars go to and these are our kids and America’s future. I think they’re worth it. This is America. There is no reason that any school anywhere should not be up to standards. This is the America of “We The People,” right? This is the America of “By the People,” and “For the People,” right? What is going to happen to the dream, if we don’t invest in a future to dream of?


“Some people want to build a wall, a fence. But I say if the Canadians want to come, let them, as long as they bring some of that maple syrup with them. So why is it just Mexico we worry about, why not Canada? If terrorists want to cross to the US, that border is 100 times easier to cross.

“You South and Central Americans came here illegally and we should send them back. Well, I propose that we give amnesty to those where are here, register them, give them two years to pass the citizenship test. After all, wasn’t America started and built by immigrants? If we send all of the immigrants back, none of us will be left. Our solution is not to lock them up or throw them out. We shouldn’t reward people who enter our country illegally, but we can learn from our faults and mistakes to improve America. I don’t have all the answers, but anyone who flees their own country to come to America must have a good reason or a big dream, and aren’t these dreamers the ones who lead innovation and progress to help America compete on a global scale? Locking these dreamers up would stunt our growth.”

He calls for a more collaborative relationship with the rest of the world.

“Shouldn’t we work with other countries to help them to send their citizens here to work and attend school. This way, they don’t have to choose which country they should be a citizen of. They can help build their come countries, help strengthen their homelands to the point where they have their own version of the American Dream: an El Salvador Dream, a Honduran Dream, a Mexican Dream, a Nicaraguan Dream. Wouldn’t that be better? America is burning. So should we fan the flames or put them out?”

But after that, Jennings writes his own “anti-speech.”

“I wrote that speech. But honestly, I can’t run the country. I have a hard enough time picking what I want to order from the commissary. I think that’s a problem a lot of us think we can do it better or we have all of the answers. Truth is, I don’t like Obama because he’s black. I don’t like that he has made so many social programs that give to the poor. You know the story: give a man a fish he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime. If you want to help the poor, teach them how to be rich. I also don’t like the current president because he has not used our military to strengthen our interests and to protect our citizens over seas. Again, I may just have a racial bias against him.

“As far as the current ones running for the job now, I’m kind of glad I don’t have the right to vote. The dream that once was America is dead and long since gone. Too much “Waggin the dawg:” Most Americans can’t think for themselves. Everyone is placed in a box and you have to fill in the social norms while keeping up with the current trends while being tracked and monitored by the device you pay $200 for. Big Brother is watching. You can feed into the conspiracies and be thought crazy, or you can not feed into them and be thought a conformist. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, so since the system is bigger and stronger than me, I’m stuck with the choice: “When a man comes to a force greater than himself, he either retreats, reforms, or revolts.” So in this nightmare of America as a drug addict and x-offender who has the right to be taxed but not the right to vote. So if I can’t fix it, what can I do about it??? Nothing. I’m just a product of the system, cut corners where I can and try to do the next right thing. So I said all of that to say this: Anyone who votes for me for president needs to be taken out back and shot in the head because, in the future America we can’t afford to have these kinds of mental defects. I’m just playing. I enjoyed the class and the task, just as I hope you enjoyed this rant that means nothing about nuffin…Thank you for your time!”

Charles Doyle seemed to question the premise of wanting to get elected in the first place.

“Someone running for any office of the government must think about what it’s going to take to get elected. There’s money to ‘advertise yourself.’ There will be people to manage and promote you…and then it will be “maybe” a platform, a message, something the people want, or something you can convince the people that they want. To win over people, to win votes, to win an electionit takes money…but even sometimes money isn’t enough…

“Maybe having lived a good life, with a good reputation, and some experience in a leadership role would win some elections?!!!

“Then again, there are those who have no problem making promises. They know that they can’t keep. Smiling, telling lies, shaking hands and kissing babies have won a few votes…and maybe an election…

He expresses a veiled support for Hillary Clinton, as the most qualified candidate for the job.

“So far, pretty much the only thing that hasn’t been able to win the election of being President is ‘being a female.’ And hopefully, the most qualified and best candidate this year (a female) will finally take that position.”

He disavows any ideology.

“There have been times in my life where my behavior has reflected capitalism, socialism, communism…and a few other ‘isms.’ I claim to be none of those.

But then, seems that Doyle has decided not to run.

“There is no way I could write a speech about what I stand for…and why someone should vote for me. What I believe, what I stand for, is much too complicated to explain, sometimes I don’t even understand it. I do have idea about changes, about a lot of things. However, honestly, I’m not capable or qualified to run for president, nor would I want to. It’s a joke, to take a quote from Sting: “there is no political solution to our troubled evolution.

“The closest and shortest version of what my so-called speech might try to express is so eloquently sung by John Lennon in his song, ‘Imagine:’

“’No heaven, no hell, all the people living for today, no countries, nothing to kill or die for, and no religion, living life in peace…no possessions, no need for greed or hunger, all the people sharing all the world…’

“But that’s not gonna get me elected!”

David Houck moves towards a larger vision of social reform.

“I stand before you today to ask you to stand beside me in the biggest challenge to ever face our great nation. I know that all politicians always tell you the people a bunch of lies. Everything they think will help get the vote they say with a straight face. I’m tired of the B.S. I want, and will, change this country with your help.

He calls for a more active response to global warming, veterans benefits, and health care for veterans.

“Everyone is always saying that the U.S. is the land of opportunity – the American Dream, the land of riches, as long as you are willing to work for it. Then tell me why our citizens are living in tents in the woods. In Las Vegas, there is a tent city. How can there be homelessness in our great country?”

He calls for “overhaul” of the banking system. And then focuses on the prison pipeline.

“Prison is not the place to house the homeless. We must reduce prison populations. There are other ways to deal with some criminals, lesser crimes. Education must be made mandatory. We must devise a better plan to deal with mental health in this country. Far too many shootings and other senseless acts of violence are happening today and are being blamed on mental health. Why now? There has to be an end to this now.

“There are too many people using the excuse of bullying as the trigger to set senseless acts in motion. I believe that bullying needs to be addressed. Also, in my day, that’s how you got ‘toughened up.’ Or at least we thought so. I realize now that it’s become a huge problen. But it’s not an excuse for hurting or injuring others. You have to talk to someone and demand to be heard, and help to deal with the problem in a civil and direct way.

“There are people in this country who are going hungry, especially the children. I ask myself – how can this be? I will make hunger in this country non existent. No child will go to school hungry. The big corporations – I say this again – your profits will not be put above the people ever again. When I am elected, I will demand congress hold hearings and then hold corporations accountable.

“I will make sure Big Oil pays their way – they too will help feed the people. Any other big corporation that is putting profit above the people: be on notice. You’ve had a good run, now it’s time to give back.

Warren Hynson is less concerned with promises, or political agenda: he begins with a call for personal responsibility. He starts with his own story as a prisoner.

“This is not a secret like my opponents would like you to think it is. This is public record. I was involved in a burglary back in the early nineties in which a man lost his life. I went to prison and did my time. I made it through the hells of prison, and I learned many valuable lessons while in prison. I leanred that life is short and it can be taken away in a matter of moments. I leraned to never let prison defeat or define me. I leanred who I am and I learned that you should teach your children to love instead of to hate. I was taught nothing but hate at an early age and I grew up hating myself. In turn, I learned to hate everyone else.

He emphasizes his resume as a leader behind bars.

“While in prison, I went on a journey to find out who I am. I learned how to be a leader. I learned how to be responsible. I was voted in by my peers to be a tier representative for many years and it is a position that my fellow convicts take seriously. I was involved in making major changes in the prison community. I spearheaded a program called Positive CHANGE (Positive Convicts Helping a New Generation Evolve). We did prison tours for troubled youth with the hopes that they learn vicariously through our mistakes not to go down the road we traveled. I was a facilitator for AVP (Alternatives for Violence Project) and for many years I taught Anger Management as well. I was a leader among leaders in the prison system and, as we all know, prison is a microcosm of the world. I believe that the same things I learned in prison can be learned in the United States.

As many candidates do, he tells us about his family.

“I come from a great family. Like all families we have our ups and downs. But no matter what is going on, we are able to stick together and have each other’s back. My father is a Vietnam-era Navy Veteran. My mother is from a small village in the Philippines….

And he ends with a story that could be a pillar for any candidate’s stump speech.

“When I was born, I almost died because the midwife cut my belly button too short to tie. My Auntie Sylvia said that I showed great strength when faced with challenges in life. She said that I would grow up to do amazing things. I hit a bump in the road as a teenager and I was part of a crime that I regret every moment of every day. But I’ve used my time in prison to become a man…a responsible man…a friend…a loyal friend…a trustworthy friend and a leader…a leader of leaders. I used my time wisely, and when I am President of the United States, I will make our country AWESOME!!”

Steve Diffendel places his candidacy in the larger historical arc.

“After World War II, while the rest of the world was torn all to hell, the American people were fast at work rebuilding for themselves the American Dream. American industry was thriving, so much so that men were able to provide for their families. America was build on the blood, sweat, and tears of the American people. We were once a proud nation. It means something to us and to the rest of the world to see: made in the United States of America. The American people were valuable and so was our dollar.

He moves in a more populist direction, directed anger against China.

“Today, America is no longer owned by the American people, but by a foreign country, China. The American people have been offered up as sacrifices, so that the top ten percent of the populace can live the privileged lives that they have been accustomed to living. If you ask me, this has been going on for too long.

He follows with a six point plan, not too different from Sanders. Here are the major points:

  • Higher taxes on the wealthy.
  • Restoration of American industry, while paying down national debt.
  • Universal employment.
  • Expanded medicare/Medicaid for seniors.
  • Access to higher education for all.
  • Increased treatment for addiction/drug use.

He speaks of a vision of a country which spends its resources on bridges, not prisons.

“I want to help the people of our country, so that they no longer hae to abide in bondage. Providing opportunity in lieu of imprisonment. Instead of simply warehousing the problem, I propose that we alleviate the problem and restore the person. Education over recidivism.

Again, like Sanders, he hopes to finance this through increased taxes on big business, and promises a realignment of wealth. He also calls for trade restrictions and tariffs: high taxes on imported goods that would give industry a reason to “return back to America.”

“I will cause cheap sweatshop labor to be a thing of the past. Instead of industry saying, ‘Let’s send our product to Guatemala, where we can hire sweat shop workers for pennies a day where they manufacture products and send them back to the States – all while deflating the dollar and increasing unemployment – I will put a stop to all that! The time has come for America to cast her vote to bring back jobs to our land, to let her people make a living, so we can make America great again.

His strong pro-labor platform ends on a high note.

“A vote for Steve Diffendal in a vote for the working class American people.

“Together we can make ‘Made in the U.S.A. worth something once again.”

Donald Gross strongly separates himself from the current administration. “We’re not going to dwell on the problems that the outgoing administration is leaving behind,” he writes.” He argues that he hopes to focus on many of the problems left unsolved by that administration.

He begins with a call for deficit reduction and “straightening out” of the economy that would align with conservative beliefs. But then he moves towards a socially progressive call for women’s rights.

“My main focus will be on pro-choice/women’s rights, because for decades women have been viewed and treated as being inferior to their counterparts. We have to rid ourselves of that cave-man mentality and step into the millennium. My cabinet will prioritize this particular issue and place it on the forefront of my agenda. You are the queens and primary vessels of mankind’s continuing existence, and you should be treated as such. No one, other than yourself, should be able to make those choices for you. You will no longer be expected to walk behind us, or to be treated like a piece of meat. You will walk beside us and will share in the equality of life. I love the women in my family too much to allow this type of behavior to continue. I was raised in a house hold with six sisters as well as my mother, so I was taught to show and have the utmost respect for women as well as their needs and wants. We have to lead by example, so let’s ride ourselves of the music as well as other forms of entertainment that disrespect our mothers, daughters, sisters and females in general. Men, I’m beckoning you and expect you to answer my call.

Moving from this liberal agenda, he advocates a strong U.S. role in the fight against international and domestic terrorism. He then seems to take the more liberal stance in his advocacy of a stronger Medicare. His final note, however, indicates originalist readings of the Constitution.

“You all know where I stand when it comes to patriotism. Today I have to attend the funeral of a patriot, Supreme Court Justice Scalia. My friend passed away un-scheduled and it just so happened that it crossed paths with my meeting with you. Me being who I am, I couldn’t let either of you down, so I divided my time between you.

“Thank you for lending me your ears, and you are much appreciated. God Bless America.”

Joey McCarthy as a candidate is running on an enthusiastic environmentalist agenda.

“I am the first independent representative to make it here and I believe that my work on saving this great planet has gained so much momentum that we can’t stop lest life as we know it will cease to exist! We are experiencing change on a global level and politics is the last thing we need to focus on. Right now, we need to use this opportunity to spread awareness on how harmful our use of current resources and aerosol chemicals is to our ozone layer and fresh water reserves.

He speaks of as a model for his agenda.

“My organization,, will not only provide career opportunities for hundreds of thousands of proud Americans. Together we will save this amazing planet. How many people are tired of believing in presidents who, when elected, do not amount to what they promised to be? I know I am. That’s why I choose to run. Not for my own gain, but to prove to my peers that I can. This is real! And what I have to say is real. My plans include co-operation from all political parties. We will come together. Not as Democrats or Republicans, but as human beings working for a cause that’s greater than anything this political race would have you, the people, believe.

He touts the past successes of, and outlines his plans for a bipartisan future, and strategies for involving younger generations.

“I have a recycle rewards program that encourages young people to recycle for money that goes to further education. So that by the time you graduate from high school, your college is paid for. My plans offer the smartest and easiest of ideas that once in effect we can live in a free nation. Let’s stop fighting together and live up to our claim to be the greatest nation in the world. A free and equal nation.”

Sig Simpson offers an extended speech which, among other things, calls for a dramatic scaling back of foreign military forces. He calls for more investment in infrastructure, and the elimination of national debt. Much of this would be achieved through demilitarization.

“I would begin this monumental task by first bringing home as many of our military forces in the Middle East as practical, with the objective of cutting up to 80 per cent of the budget to keep our soldiers in harm’s way, while turning over the business of securitying those countries and establishing regime change to the citizens of those countries themselves.

“I believe this act of military de-escalation will decrease terrorism as it becomes clear that the U.S. isn’t trying to bully other nations around by occupying their countries. We would still of course have to maintain a small base or two in the region to show our allies in the region that we are not abandoning them, but we are, however, abandoning our role as policemen of the world. Those countries must settle their own land in the natural way; then we can work on establishing meaningful relationships with the newly formed government as, as well as conduct business that is mutually beneficial to ourselves and the partnership we have with the brand new economic players in the world economy. But we must NOT involve ourselves in endless religious wars, ethnic conflicts and political revolutions. THIS is how we became targets of so many enemies…

On the home front, he takes a strong stand against illegal immigration.

“I would deport anyone found to be illegal as is practically possible – as a message to others not to expect to come here illegally. There are too many dangerous possibilities to Americans to allow unchecked illegal immigration to continue…

He focuses on his own identity as a “true American” whose ancestors have been in North America since the 18th century.

“My family has been in America since the 1700’s. Our families’ men have fought in every war since then. I am a true American, I am not interested in taking bribes, or selling myself to the highest bidder. The people who will decide what and how quickly illegals will be deported will be in the hands of the individual state where the immigrant resides. Some of our returning men and women may find themselves interested in relocating to one of these border states to help secure our borders while enjoying the proximity of their friends and families.

Then he moves on to criticize the ‘prison industrial complex.’

“I myself know all about it personally because I am a convicted felon. I know what it feels like to be locked up, chained, and powerless. This is what the average American feels like: a prisoner in his own country chained to massive debt, drowning in it with no way out.

“Millions of people locked in cells for money-checks from the government and non-violent crime. They are released without rehabilitation into an economy in recession and the vicious cycle starts all over again. Only now they have a child or two left on the street with only a mother and another bill for the state in which that child lives.

He ends with a call for optimism and belief.

“Believe in me. We can have it all. We just have to work at making better decisions and better educations for our children. We know that those who have the youth possess the future – but what kind of future will it be if we don’t put 100 per cent effort into making them the best people they can be. It all starts with education, invested time, and love.

“Thank you and good night.”





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